What makes our relationship so beautiful is that we communicate. My bf tells me I'm the only woman he has been able to open up to, sharing fears, anxieties, all kinds of feelings. I love him all the more for this. From time to time we talk about our fantasies, and one night he described his fantasy about throat fucking. When I said I would be willing to do that for him, his eyes lit up and sparkled. He said he'd been reluctant to mention the subject with his previous girlfriends.
At first he was tentative, alert to how I was responding. I had trouble relaxing because I was no longer in control. I kept telling myself I had deepthroated him endless times before, but that didn't help. The situation was totally different. The sizable object pushing into my throat was following the dictates of my bf, not me. I felt helpless and frightened. As a result I choked a lot which prompted my bf, totally attentive, bless his heart, to withdraw quickly so I could recover.
For several weeks progress was slow, or perhaps it is more accurate to say my bf fucked my throat slowly, almost delicately. He was looking out for my welfare, of course, but also didn't want to push me too far too quickly and risk losing what I had only recently offered him, fulfillment of one of his most intense fantasies. I soon adjusted to the random movement of his cock in my throat and was able to receive his gentle thrustings with little gagging.
Then came the pivotal moment in our relationship, when our connections deepened in an unexpected but totally exhilerating way. Though it is easier to see in hindsight, I was aware of it then at some level. Having overcome my initial fears and realizing I could accept him comfortably, I was growing dulled, impatient, with his caution and concern. I wanted him to be more aggressive and demanding.
Then it happened. We were having regular intercourse when he withdrew and had me get on my knees so he could use my mouth. I was aroused and had no difficulty receiving him in my throat. He moved back and forth slowly several times before coming to rest fully embedded inside me, his pelvis pushing against my face. I tightened my lips around him and caressed him with tongue while we remained motionless in that position. Finally without warning I gagged. I expected him to withdraw as he always did, but this time he didn't. Instantly I was terrified. I choked horribly. My eyes were watering and ugly sounds were emitting from my throat. The next moment surrender took over, flashing in my mind such thoughts as "Do what you will with me," and "I give up." In a sense I accepted the gagging, almost indulged it, as I gave myself to him. I felt coldly humbled, used and bebased. Yet immediately the spasm passed, allowing me to breathe again.
I was stunned at what had happened. I could have backed off at any time, yet I remained "impaled" through the terror and humiliation to overcome the body's reflex. I had endorsed my bf's power over me by not retreating.
When I looked up I saw an intensity in his eyes I had seldom seen before. His face, shoulders, chest, his entire body seemed tense. I then realized just how important this fantasy was to him, dominating me in sex. I felt unusually close to him, aware of how significant my submission was in the dynamics of our relationship, pleased that I could offer with love that which he ardently sought. I further realized that I was acutely stimulated, my entire body humming. Caught up in a swell of passsion, I sucked on him hard.
Undoubtedly encouraged by my receptivity, he started pushing into me with short, vigorous strokes. He didn't withdraw when I gagged. I had to surrender over and over, delighting him with a momentary struggle before allowing him to resume unimpeded use of my throat. It didn't take long before my mouth and tongue took him over the edge into orgasm. He cried out and nearly lost his balance as he thrust deeply into me, spewing forth his cum. Although I eagerly swallowed his semen, that pleasure was summarily eclipsed by an intense feeling of relief and gratitude that I didn't choke during his orgasm. (I know what it is like to expel tepid, thick cum through the mouth and nose--it isn't pleasant :-( )
From that evening on, much of our sex has resonated at a deeper level, in ways I am sure I'm not even aware of yet. Throat fucking has become a regular part of our sex life. Sometimes it is a prelude to other fucking. Sometimes he likes to conclude by switching to my mouth and coming in my throat. He has started to introduce bondage into oral sex, or has me grasp my wrists behind my back while he uses my throat. We're doing more anal sex now that I am finally beginning to enjoy it. I watch more porn with him now, although he likes me to deepthroat him to orgasm while he watches. I enjoy doing this for him, and besides, it gets me stimulated for additional sex afterwards. We're also talking more about our fantasies and acting them out. So far I am most comfortable with fantasies in which I do the surrendering. Both of us are finding this kind of play quite exciting.
Now, having sketched our introduction to throat fucking, I can properly answer the question about the use of force and its effects. When I deepthroat him, that is, when I'm in control, I usually set a slow pace and vary the pressure and friction according to how I feel and how I read him. In contrast, when he throat fucks me, he's not usually interested in leisurely oral sex. Nor am I or is my degree of arousal uppermost in his mind. He is into his power trip for the most part. Sometimes he uses gentle strokes. He likes to watch himself slide between my lips until he's all the way in, and then push and grind into my face with modest force. Sometimes he will hold my head steady with both hands, or press me into himself with a hand behind my head.
Before long, however, he inevitably picks up the pace. Since he wants to come during throat fucking, he wants lots of sensation around the base of his shaft where he is particularly sensitive. Accordingly, he works his cock deep most of the time rather than seek stimulation along the entire shaft. To please him I keep my lips tight and move my tongue back and forth and side to side. He loves pressure on his pelvis at the stem of his cock, so as he picks up the pace he pushes into my lips at the end of each tiny stroke as if he were trying to gain the last possible measure of depth. (Incidently he doesn't allow me to use my hands to stimulate him.) When he comes to rest fully inside me, I move my head around in little circles and dig in on the stem with my lips in a kind of gnawing action, creating the kind of sensation he loves.
When he drives vigorously into my throat, he typically is seeking pleasure in applying force and dominance and in creating stimulation through friction. He doesn't quite slam into my face but he does strike with a firm tap. Yes, that jars my head, but not severely, and usually these harsh strokes don't last long. He uses them sparingly and for variation, at least so far he does. He also uses vigorous strokes at the end when he approahed orgasm. I usually know when he's ready because his motion becomes more deliberate, and I pick up on his energy. When he thrusts in and stops, I suck hard on the base of his cock as i do in regular deepthroating, receiving his cum deep inside me. Most of the time, however, when he continues to work back and forth between my lips with short, deep strokes, I tighten the ring of my lips for his pleasure, maybe moving my head slightly for extra motion, and anticipate the pulsing in his cock which signals orgasm.
I don't get headaches from the "pounding," but my throat, lips, jaw and neck sometimes get sore, especially if the action goes longer than usual. The most challenging part is to maintain a firm grip with my lips and to remember to use my tongue. I get distracted when I gag or when I feel as if I'm on the verge of gagging. We've progressed to the stage now where he keeps moving in my throat when I gag, a nice little joy he relishes. Even when I stay calm and the spasm passes, I still have to resume breathing cautiously with him in my throat in order to avoid panic and serious choking.
Does throat fucking overwhelm me or wear me down? I may get sore but I rarely feel tired or drained. Just the opposite. I usually feel uplifted afterwards. The physical stimulation I receive with him in my throat drives me nuts! ;-) I love pleasing my bf by giving pleasure and helping him realize power and strength that had been lying dormant. Surrendering to him, allowing him uninhibited use of my mouth and throat (and the rest of my body), makes me feel alive, bonded to him and part of something bigger than both of us.